The Nice Guy Complex

The Nice Guy Complex

We all know the saying "nice guys finish last"; we have pretty much heard this phrase many times in our lives. In today's world, being nice is def tricky—for every good reason there is to be nice, there's usually a downside to it. Being the nice guy nowadays gets you a first class ticket to the friend zone in some cases. We are led to believe that all women want is a nice guy who will be there for them, listen to them, buy them flowers, take them to dinner....the list goes on and on. Naturally, some men will do these things in hopes of getting the interest and attention of the woman they are enamored with. However, you don't always end up smelling like roses. In actuality, your efforts may result in her seeing you as just a friend and nothing more. 

If you look around, you'll notice the guy that's getting the girls you want is the complete opposite of what you are trying to be. In today's world, it's no secret that if you ignore her texts every now and then, not giver her the attention she craves, and not spend as much time with her as she wants, you may actually get the girl you want. As a nice guy, you think to yourself, "why is this happening?" but honestly, you have a part to play in this. You cannot simply tell her every little thing she wants to hear without giving her the impression that you don't have a backbone. Women can smell blood, so if you're being overly nice, trust me she will walk all over you. The "awww you're so sweet" messages or comments you think are helping your chances, can actually be dooming them. 

There is nothing wrong with being nice to women, however, make sure it is genuine and not forced. A lot of times we as men force niceness because we think that's what women want, but honestly they just want someone who is real. I can't say I'm a "nice guy" but one thing I did notice is that once I stopped forcing myself to be extra nice and telling women the sweet shit I thought they liked allllll the time, I actually had more success in dating. This is because I chose to be myself, which is a realistic balance between a nice guy and a potential asshole at times; that's just me.