The Nice Guy Complex
The Nice Guy Complex
We
all know the saying "nice guys finish last"; we have pretty much heard
this phrase many times in our lives. In today's world, being nice is def
tricky—for every good reason there is to be nice, there's usually a
downside to it. Being the nice guy nowadays gets you a first class
ticket to the friend zone in some cases. We are led to believe that all
women want is a nice guy who will be there for them, listen to them, buy
them flowers, take them to dinner....the list goes on and on.
Naturally, some men will do these things in hopes of getting the
interest and attention of the woman they are enamored with. However, you
don't always end up smelling like roses. In actuality, your efforts may
result in her seeing you as just a friend and nothing more.
If
you look around, you'll notice the guy that's getting the girls you
want is the complete opposite of what you are trying to be. In today's
world, it's no secret that if you ignore her texts every now and then,
not giver her the attention she craves, and not spend as much time with
her as she wants, you may actually get the girl you want. As a nice guy,
you think to yourself, "why is this happening?" but honestly, you have a
part to play in this. You cannot simply tell her every little
thing she wants to hear without giving her the impression that you don't
have a backbone. Women can smell blood, so if you're being overly
nice, trust me she will walk all over you. The "awww you're so sweet"
messages or comments you think are helping your chances, can actually be
dooming them.
There
is nothing wrong with being nice to women, however, make sure it is
genuine and not forced. A lot of times we as men force niceness because
we think that's what women want, but honestly they just want someone who
is real. I can't say I'm a "nice guy" but one thing I did notice is
that once I stopped forcing myself to be extra nice and telling women
the sweet shit I thought they liked allllll the time, I actually had
more success in dating. This is because I chose to be myself, which is a
realistic balance between a nice guy and a potential asshole at times;
that's just me.
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