Driver's Seat

         One of the things I have never handled well is death. I don't know if
it's a thing where I didn't grieve properly or what but I have no clue
how to have any closure in regards to the death of loved ones. About
21 years ago my older cousin Thierry passed in a car accident and this
still affects me till this day in regards to how I feel about being
cars and driving. Do I know how to drive, Yes, Do I like to drive no.

         Truth be told I experience some type of anxiety every time I am in a
car but I have done a great job at hiding it because I was
embarrassed. Everyone else in my immediate crew has a car except for
me, can I afford a car? Absolutely but I let my fear overcome me. I
often feel like the fact that I never receive closure or came to terms
with my cousin being gone was the main reason why I look at driving
the way I do. I spoke to his brother about it and he said initially it
was the same for him but he got over it. I've decided I can no longer
let this affect me and stop my growth. I will get over this if it's
the last thing I do.