Relationship No-No's
I'm not saying i'm a relationship expert, but through experiences and observations involving my friends and myself I conducted this list. Here are some things you should look out for in your relationship if your experiencing any of this then all I can say is put on your Air Max 95s and RUNNNN!!!!!!
Compulsive Jealousy
A little jealousy is cute but when you really start thinking or accusing your partner of doing something else well that's where the problem begins. For example "who's this Bianca woman liking all your Instagram pics" this should never be a basis for an argument why become upset when half the time we really we not know the person. Guys can also show signs of doing this also by constantly questioning you about your whereabouts or even going through phones or their partners social network page.
Hasn't gotten over the ex
This one is definitely a big one this happens in a lot of today's relationships: you came off of a heartbreak so it's only right that it's going to take time to get over your previous partner especially if you guys have been together a while. I feel if it's been 6-8 months into your new relationship n you still haven't gotten over your ex then you should move on n be single because as long as your still carrying some type of feeling for your ex, you will never be able to give someone the full 100% they deserve. I myself apply a certain theory that a friend of mine told me: if the previous relationship was 3+yrs then pursue something else because chances are she still hasn't gotten over her ex. Ladies proceed with caution because I actually believe men take much longer to get over an ex than a woman, they just constantly lie about it.
Making your new partner pay for your ex's mistakes
This one actually hits home for me because I've done this plenty of times before.This one is also at the top of the list, the new person your dating deserves a clean slate, they did not cheat on you in 2006, didn't dump you to get back with their ex, didn't get anyone pregnant/become pregnant by someone else therefore they should be viewed as having a clean record. Many people would be led to believe that it's women who are always doing it but I am here to dispel that notion. Yes women do it a lot but as a man I feel they do it much more, I am proof of that. After my High School girlfriend dumped me, for the next 4/5 yrs pretty much every woman I dealt with paid for what she did was it right? No but sometimes you want to protect yourself so much that the wall you build becomes like a wall that will never fall. If this doesn't stop after a while then it's best to leave because your always going to feel guilty because of how the person may treat you. I've been there myself and nothing is worse than feeling like your walking on egg shells because you know your lady is looking at you waiting for you to make a mistake.
Whenever there's one person in the relationship who feels like their partner should be lucky to have them it's a problem. When this is viewed with arrogance instead of sincerity it will always lead to somebody getting hurt. A person who feels this way will almost never try to improve on the emotional, mental, and physical aspect of the relationship because they've already put it in their mind that they can get anyone so you should just be lucky to be with them. It's kind of like the Sports team that is just happy to make the playoffs but doesn't try to win the game, that's exactly the kind of feeling your partner would give off. Sometimes you have to step outside of yourself and realize that yes, he/she may be lucky but if they were good enough to get you they can get another so appreciate what you have.
Having your own independence
Your identity should always be your own first. You should never be defined by your relationship you should be referred to by your name not "Sarah's Boyfriend" or "Mike's Girlfriend" sometimes people get so consumed with being in a relationship that it becomes all they know and takes over their own identity. Yes two people in a relationship should grow together but this should happen independently as well. You have to give your partner some type of time to miss you if not things will fizzle out after time. Always ask your self not what your partner is bringing but what are you bringing to the table besides a fork, knife, and yourself. It's ok for each party to have their own guys/girls night out a lot of times it is definitely needed for both parties involved.
Not Trusting your partner
There's no relationship without trust period,l and if your partner can't trust you then move on because this will be a constant fight. You can't half ass trust don't give off the vibe that you can trust somebody but will say things like "It's just me, myself, and I" yes that shows independence and strength but to me that also shows that you don't trust anyone enough to let them on the journey with you. There's no Love without trust so remember that the next time you think you love someone but don't trust them. Loving without trust is like driving without car insurance: you may be good for a while but in due time it will catch up to you.
Having sexual limits
If you're with someone and you guys have a established some type of relationship then there should be no sexual limits. The last thing you want to do is have your partner looking elsewhere for the things you should be doing in the bedroom. Let's just nip this in the bud now if your one of those "I don't do oral people" you are going to get dogged point blank. Sex is a way of communicating whether it be in a loving way or a lustful way. Every man wants a "freak in the sheets" or a "whore behind close doors" and every woman wants a guy who's a freak. If you don't believe this look at your Instagram n tell me how many women you see daily posting pictures of men going down on women. Once you get past a certain point in a relationship nothing should really be a problem, I'm not saying try every single thing but at least keep that option open. You can't realistically expect your partner to stick around if there are things you wouldn't do for them in the bedroom. You don't give fellatio cool don't be upset when Jenny down the block is giving it to him, you don't go down on women?? Cool don't be surprised when bobby from her job is doing it for her. If your partner has sexual limits then you have to look at it sometimes as maybe they are not as invested as you are. I know your going to sit here and say "but it's just sex" well tell that to the ones who get cheated on because the next person did what their partner wouldn't. I've known of situations where the person wouldn't even want to try different positions really?? Just don't be afraid to try new things n if your partner is reluctant than maybe you need a new one because if you aren't satisfied sexually this can't def have a trickle down affect and can cause problems.
Addressing relationship problems on social networks
I see this everyday!! The people who swear they have the best relationships will always post something on Instagram or Facebook that will have others wondering. Don't give another person a reason to hit your partner with the "do you wanna talk about it" "hit me up if you wanna vent" because that can def lead to some other things happening. You can't post something certain things n then say "ooo I'm not talking about my relationship when that's bulllllllllssshiiitttt. You can't have a "all men are dogs post" and then turn around and say "I wasn't about my man" once you said "All Men" you put him in that category. Fellas don't post the issues posts that would imply that "women ain't shit" if you have a girlfriend because your pretty much saying that yours isn't shit either. Men and women are in love with subliminal messages now a days but you should never let a social network into your "home". A lot of people make that mistake n then complain about people being in their business well guess what you put them there, next time don't type anything that would lead followers to believe there's trouble in paradise it's your world not theirs.
Telling your friends/family about every single relationship problem
This is a tricky one because you want to let those close to you know what's going on. You don't have to tell every little detail about your relationship, some things should stay private between the two parties involved. Imagine you constantly telling your friends and family about the person your with n what they're doing wrong yet your still with them. Eventually you will look stupid because of the time the biggest complainers are the ones who end up staying in a relationship. It's uncomfortable to be the one talked about because you will receive an unfair judgement. If all your girlfriend's/boyfriend's friends and family only hear the bad things about the relationship then they will look at you differently. You definitely should not be with a person who puts you in a situation where those close to them will always look at you with the side eye. If you are going to discuss your relationship, then at the least give the good with the bad. I myself was always one to unfairly just give the bad so many women who were with me never got the benefit of the doubt from those close to me.
Playing by unfair rules
Don't expect someone to do something you won't do yourself. I was actually told by a woman that women do this more. The most common example is not speaking to an ex. You can't demand your partner stop speaking to an ex when you still communicate with yours. Communicating doesn't necessarily have to mean speaking but even being friends with or following them on a social site. A lot times one person will actually stop talking to their ex while the other person will still carry on a friendship. How many times have we heard "it's not like that" "he has a girl so it's cool" or "she's not worried about me" all these lies are always told. Fellas you can't say things like "nobody wants a woman who's everywhere doing everything and knows everybody" when this actually applies to you yourself. Don't complain about your lady partying if you sometimes are at these same parties. Ladies and gents don't complain about social network flirting which many of you in relationships do (you are not low!!!) when you do it also. The moment someone asks you to do something they won't do themselves just run the other way and run fast!!!
Comments