What Does This Even Mean

Don’t you just hate when you meet someone and then all of a sudden a person from their past hits you up and says “me and them used to talk” and you’re usually like okkkkk because to you it doesn’t mean anything. I’ve always wondering why do we always assume that just because people were “talking” this automatically means they were actually dating. A lot of times I feel like “talking” means the two party’s involved exchanged numbers had a few conversations and things just fizzled out.  A lot of times someone telling you that they used to “talk” to the person you currently liked just means that they want to make you either feel guilty for pursuing the person or that they still want them. In my opinion I feel like dating is way more than just talking, dating involves spending time with the person which usually also involves some type of spending. I’ve been in situations where folks with say we “talked” but all we actually did was have sex so to me that is different from actually dating them. I look at it like this, talking could just be us stalling until we both realize casual sex is all we are here for. When you date, there should be some type of intent there especially if you do not want to waste your time. I feel talking actually comes before the dating stage because in some cases “talking” literally may be what actually gets you the date. 

Now another interesting topic that I discussed with two lovely young ladies this morning was at what point should you begin dating someone exclusively. The amount of time depending on the person can vary from a few weeks to even a few months shit for some people maybe longer. To me the thing I never understood and it did take me a long ass time to see this but going on dates with someone for several months, spending plenty of time with them, sleep with them, sometimes even take trips yet you guys aren’t exclusively dating yet. To me it’s like what’s the point, like what are you in it for because what will usually happen is one person will easily react if the other continues to do these things with other people over an extended period of time. 

Personally speaking I feel within a few months you know whether or not you would actually be able to be in a relationship with the person you are dating I’d say usually 3-6 months. Obviously if you are one of these men/women who can handle dating 4-5 folks at a time then this post obviously isn’t for you. 9/10 if you ask someone who’s been “dating” someone for months why they aren’t exclusive, they may actually give you some reasons but then the follow may be well why continue to deal with the person?

I say alllllll of that to say this, stop leading people on and stop wasting their time all while getting mad that they chose to stop waiting for you and decided to move on. It’s corny this is 2016 if you want to just smash say it, if you want to be exclusive say it and put forth the effort, if you are unsure say that so the person knows. I am speaking to men and women so please understand I am taking no sides here. All you’re going to do is leave the person in a messed up situation with time they could not get back, think about how you would react to that if it were you.