Parental Advisory

As we get older one of the things we cannot avoid sometimes is dating people with children. A lot of us of course would prefer to date someone without a child (I think) and there are many reasons for that. One thing I would hate is when I would see posts praising men for being "real men" because they chose to date a woman with a child and care for the child. You must understand that every man is not obligated to do this and should not be looked at as less of a man because of this. Here are some things that i've learned.

You'll almost never be #1 

        Rightfully so you'll never be number one because the persons child will and should always come first. Many people cannot deal with this thought which can lead to an unhappy relationship. I'll say this it's much easier to play second fiddle to your own child but for some folks playing second fiddle to someone else's child can be bothersome. I'll say this though it's pretty much understood that your child comes first so you don't have to go out of your way to let the person know that they aren't number one, trust me it gets annoying.

Everything must be planned

         Being spontaneous at times can go out of the window in regards to dating a parent. No surprise baecations, quick weekend getaways (alone), even setting up nasty time has to be planned. You have to give the person you're seeing time to make arrangements with a babysitter (assuming the child is not going where you plan on taking the parent), this is where a lot of problems occur. It may become very frustrating when you want to do something with your boo but they cannot because of childcare issues. So understand that being spontaneous will be very difficult but if you're creative i'm sure you can figure something out.

Child doesn't like you 

         I have never dealt with this because I had a no meetings kids until it got serious agreement with every mom I dated. If the child does not like you (assuming their old enough to make that choice) it may be difficult for you to last. Eventually the parent may feel like it's too much to deal with and rightfully so would not want to make her child feel uncomfortable.

Petty Parents

        What I have noticed a lot is whenever one parent has moved on sometimes the other parents petty levels rise and this is where things could go left. I've seen many a deadbeat dad "want" his family back once the mother has moved on. The ladies probably experience worse issues than us men especially when the mother of the child whose father they're dating wants to be petty. I have heard many stories from my homegirls in regards to mothers conveniently dropping their child off to their dad when they already made plans with them are were not suppose to have the child that night. Another weird situation that I still don't how how to handle is what do you do when the parents get into a physical altercation. Like what do you do when the child's father hits your girl or the child's mother hits your man. These are some of the things we have to think about. Sometimes dealing with a petty parent is hardddd as hell
to overcome so if you do more power to ya.

         I remain open to dating moms and i'm not saying you should not date someone with a kid. Please be aware and make sure you are ready for the things that come with dating a parent.

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