Fantastic 4
Decided to write something a bit personal here.....These 4 women have had an impact on how I view things in more ways than one I've either loved, still love, or once loved all of em at some point in life. Anyone who's ever had any of these types I hope can relate.
The Game Changer
Sometimes we go through breakups that change us in a good or bad way. What happens is we focus on what someone did to us therefore we hold whoever we get involved with next accountable for what the previous person did which is a big mistake. Everyone deserves a clean slate, I can tell you first hand that the worse thing you could do is make someone else pay for something they didn't do. You have to look in the mirror and realize you were also apart of whatever situation ended up bad. For about 4yrs every woman I became involved with unknowingly or knowingly pretty much paid for a bad break-up I went through. Of course this was a bad thing to do as I pretty much used the break up as a Crutch. After a while I had to look in the mirror and realize I was at fault not my ex, I mean all she did was move on from a situation she felt she outgrew it happens. She's actually had a more positive then negative impact on how I view women. In my younger yrs I'd be a typical male and say "she made me realize women ain't s**t" but I realized she was young n hey shit happens. I will say she definitely taught me to never be surprised by anything the person your dating does. I foolishly blamed her for whatever shortcomings I had in any relationships or dating situations I came across after her. It was definitely unfair for me to blame her for something I let happen, I was the one who carried the grudge of the failed relationship so I didn't have a right to hold her accountable especially since years had already passed by. This woman taught me a lot about myself most importantly is that I can still be cool with someone I once shared a bad experience with but also that if you never get over a bad experience it will always handicap your growth. Everyone has a game changer in their life n no matter how you feel about them now, you have to realize at one point they were among the most important thing in your life. My game changer was unfairly blamed by me for why I acted the way I acted towards women but I've let her know on a few occasions the break up was more of a blessing than the curse I'd play it off to be. Sometimes it's best that they let you go as oppose to having you get in deeper which of course would make it even harder to get over n move on from.
Time Machine
If we all had a time machine there's usually a relationship we'd go back to and rearrange somethings. Yes things happen for a reason but a part of you may sometimes think "damn what if...." Or "if I had another chance". These situations can come from what I'd consider incomplete breakups which is when you really can't pinpoint the exact reason for the two of you breaking up. My example can best be defined as "the right girl at the wrong time" which some of us have experience at least one time or another. Young love I guess is what you can attribute the ending of the relationship to, when you have two young people in a relationship it can either work or it can go wrong. This particular situation went wrong mostly because at the time we may have been too young and in different spaces which of course would lead to many clashes. Part of being young of course is holding grudges and not forgetting previous situations so a huge part of me carried the burden of my previous relationship into this one ( see. Game changer). She never knew this but I definitely mistreated her or overreacted to certain things because although it was years later I still let the previous breakup haunt me. Post break up we both realized we were def too young to be so serious at least to us. We've moved on into different situations...her in a relationship and me writing this blog lol but she'd def represent a moment in time I'd go back to if I could turn back the hands of time. The right love at the wrong time can def suck but just look at it as a learning experience like they say "it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all".
The "Unicorn"
Many people consider this to be of course the white magical flying horse (that's what I call it) but this has a different meaning for me. A unicorn is pretty much the one person you've always wanted but never got. Whether it's bad timing, rejection, or you just never stepped up to the plate. Sometimes you just think to yourself "damn I want them but I don't know". The danger with this is that it can sometimes be someone your actually close with. You get so close with this person that you may have permanently put yourself in the friend zone by also becoming close with this person. I've had a few women for the "unicorn" bill but one stood out amongst the rest. I've know my unicorn about 15yrs which is more than half of the time I've been on this earth. She's like a unicorn n forbidden fruit at the same time for because although I've wanted it, deep down inside I know it may or may not be good for me. This may come off as pessimistic but my thing is sometimes you just get a feeling of this can be a really good thing or this can be a really bad thing like Kanye said "dessert or disaster" is how it could end up. This may be the only person I've been somewhat vulnerable to in the last 5yrs sometimes you just have that connection with a person even if it's more on your side than their side you still feel something there. You find yourself worrying about them but you try to pull back some because you don't want to put out more than your getting yet you still end up doing so. We've had many hypothetical conversations about if it would work but the result is always the same which is "it would mess up the friendship" which can either be a cop out or an actuality. For now she'll always be looked at as the trophy I could never win, the game winning shot I missed, the villain I could never defeat. Although things aren't the way I once wanted them to be, we still remain very close.
Hidden Gem
Last but certainly not least of course is the hidden gem. A hidden gem to me is best described as a person you maybe should've been paying more attention to instead of focusing on others. Instead of giving the wrong people your attention this is the person you should've been putting your efforts towards. Sometimes we get so caught up in chasing after what ends up being the wrong person that sometimes we fail to realize what was best for us may have actually been right in our face. It's true what they say about people sometimes ignoring the ones who adore them while chasing after the ones who mistreat them. My Hidden gem was someone I befriended in college a few yrs back. The first thing I noticed about her was her smile obviously because it was beautiful to me. After a while of just meeting up in the library at school, which turned into texting which of course led to phone conversations. After a while it became clear that there were some feelings there. Physically she was different in comparison to the type of women I'd usually been involved with but we still had a connection. She understood me probably more than any woman ever has with the exception of my mother. By the time we admitted to there being feelings of course it was too late because by this time we were both in relationships. She always attributed her not saying anything to the fact that she thought I wouldn't want her because she felt she wasn't my "type". I knew she was into me but like an idiot I became kind of oblivious to it and focused my attention on other women instead. It Wasn't until years later I realized the time wasted chasing other women should've been used working on a relationship with her. We did try to date after our relationships fizzled but it just wasn't the same perhaps because we realized we should've done that a few yrs prior. I chose the title of hidden gem because that's what she was to me I've kept that situation pretty close to me also. Many people will read this and really have the slightest clue as to who I speak of. I actually ran into this person over the summer 2 weeks before her wedding and I kind of froze mentally. I stopped and thought "should this have been me" "what if I stepped up n gave her the attention she deserved" but then I thought you know what things ended up exactly how they should've she'll read this and either smile or shake her head but hey least she knows my view on our situation.
The Game Changer
Sometimes we go through breakups that change us in a good or bad way. What happens is we focus on what someone did to us therefore we hold whoever we get involved with next accountable for what the previous person did which is a big mistake. Everyone deserves a clean slate, I can tell you first hand that the worse thing you could do is make someone else pay for something they didn't do. You have to look in the mirror and realize you were also apart of whatever situation ended up bad. For about 4yrs every woman I became involved with unknowingly or knowingly pretty much paid for a bad break-up I went through. Of course this was a bad thing to do as I pretty much used the break up as a Crutch. After a while I had to look in the mirror and realize I was at fault not my ex, I mean all she did was move on from a situation she felt she outgrew it happens. She's actually had a more positive then negative impact on how I view women. In my younger yrs I'd be a typical male and say "she made me realize women ain't s**t" but I realized she was young n hey shit happens. I will say she definitely taught me to never be surprised by anything the person your dating does. I foolishly blamed her for whatever shortcomings I had in any relationships or dating situations I came across after her. It was definitely unfair for me to blame her for something I let happen, I was the one who carried the grudge of the failed relationship so I didn't have a right to hold her accountable especially since years had already passed by. This woman taught me a lot about myself most importantly is that I can still be cool with someone I once shared a bad experience with but also that if you never get over a bad experience it will always handicap your growth. Everyone has a game changer in their life n no matter how you feel about them now, you have to realize at one point they were among the most important thing in your life. My game changer was unfairly blamed by me for why I acted the way I acted towards women but I've let her know on a few occasions the break up was more of a blessing than the curse I'd play it off to be. Sometimes it's best that they let you go as oppose to having you get in deeper which of course would make it even harder to get over n move on from.
Time Machine
If we all had a time machine there's usually a relationship we'd go back to and rearrange somethings. Yes things happen for a reason but a part of you may sometimes think "damn what if...." Or "if I had another chance". These situations can come from what I'd consider incomplete breakups which is when you really can't pinpoint the exact reason for the two of you breaking up. My example can best be defined as "the right girl at the wrong time" which some of us have experience at least one time or another. Young love I guess is what you can attribute the ending of the relationship to, when you have two young people in a relationship it can either work or it can go wrong. This particular situation went wrong mostly because at the time we may have been too young and in different spaces which of course would lead to many clashes. Part of being young of course is holding grudges and not forgetting previous situations so a huge part of me carried the burden of my previous relationship into this one ( see. Game changer). She never knew this but I definitely mistreated her or overreacted to certain things because although it was years later I still let the previous breakup haunt me. Post break up we both realized we were def too young to be so serious at least to us. We've moved on into different situations...her in a relationship and me writing this blog lol but she'd def represent a moment in time I'd go back to if I could turn back the hands of time. The right love at the wrong time can def suck but just look at it as a learning experience like they say "it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all".
The "Unicorn"
Many people consider this to be of course the white magical flying horse (that's what I call it) but this has a different meaning for me. A unicorn is pretty much the one person you've always wanted but never got. Whether it's bad timing, rejection, or you just never stepped up to the plate. Sometimes you just think to yourself "damn I want them but I don't know". The danger with this is that it can sometimes be someone your actually close with. You get so close with this person that you may have permanently put yourself in the friend zone by also becoming close with this person. I've had a few women for the "unicorn" bill but one stood out amongst the rest. I've know my unicorn about 15yrs which is more than half of the time I've been on this earth. She's like a unicorn n forbidden fruit at the same time for because although I've wanted it, deep down inside I know it may or may not be good for me. This may come off as pessimistic but my thing is sometimes you just get a feeling of this can be a really good thing or this can be a really bad thing like Kanye said "dessert or disaster" is how it could end up. This may be the only person I've been somewhat vulnerable to in the last 5yrs sometimes you just have that connection with a person even if it's more on your side than their side you still feel something there. You find yourself worrying about them but you try to pull back some because you don't want to put out more than your getting yet you still end up doing so. We've had many hypothetical conversations about if it would work but the result is always the same which is "it would mess up the friendship" which can either be a cop out or an actuality. For now she'll always be looked at as the trophy I could never win, the game winning shot I missed, the villain I could never defeat. Although things aren't the way I once wanted them to be, we still remain very close.
Hidden Gem
Last but certainly not least of course is the hidden gem. A hidden gem to me is best described as a person you maybe should've been paying more attention to instead of focusing on others. Instead of giving the wrong people your attention this is the person you should've been putting your efforts towards. Sometimes we get so caught up in chasing after what ends up being the wrong person that sometimes we fail to realize what was best for us may have actually been right in our face. It's true what they say about people sometimes ignoring the ones who adore them while chasing after the ones who mistreat them. My Hidden gem was someone I befriended in college a few yrs back. The first thing I noticed about her was her smile obviously because it was beautiful to me. After a while of just meeting up in the library at school, which turned into texting which of course led to phone conversations. After a while it became clear that there were some feelings there. Physically she was different in comparison to the type of women I'd usually been involved with but we still had a connection. She understood me probably more than any woman ever has with the exception of my mother. By the time we admitted to there being feelings of course it was too late because by this time we were both in relationships. She always attributed her not saying anything to the fact that she thought I wouldn't want her because she felt she wasn't my "type". I knew she was into me but like an idiot I became kind of oblivious to it and focused my attention on other women instead. It Wasn't until years later I realized the time wasted chasing other women should've been used working on a relationship with her. We did try to date after our relationships fizzled but it just wasn't the same perhaps because we realized we should've done that a few yrs prior. I chose the title of hidden gem because that's what she was to me I've kept that situation pretty close to me also. Many people will read this and really have the slightest clue as to who I speak of. I actually ran into this person over the summer 2 weeks before her wedding and I kind of froze mentally. I stopped and thought "should this have been me" "what if I stepped up n gave her the attention she deserved" but then I thought you know what things ended up exactly how they should've she'll read this and either smile or shake her head but hey least she knows my view on our situation.
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